Cosmopolitan Ultimate Sex Guide. (via ahhellobeautiful-)
That’s fucking gross, Cosmo
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha OH COSMO! This is so hot, I’ll totally be doing it tonight~
i just gagged.
the phrase “delightful invitation for him to whoosh his penis around” just made me choke on air
Do….Do women actually consider shoving food into their vags? I’m terrified.
Food fetishes are one thing, but this is just plain bad.
wow mashed banana how sexy and not at all like baby food
but why peaches though?
Um. Could you imagine trying to clean that out? Just eww. Jizz covered fruit also does not sound at all appeasing.
And what if he doesn’t show up? It’s not like you can bend over and eat the fruit out yourself. Not that you would want to…I’ll just end this thought here.
And I may never be able to eat a banana again without the phrase “He can whoosh his penis around it!” popping into my head. Thanks, Cosmo. Seriously.
LMAO I AM DYING AT THE COMMENTARY
notice how cosmo’s sex tips are all about his pleasure?
I threw up into my mouth a little.
this is the best thing ive seen on tumblr for a long time. lmao. fruitarians unite!
YEAST INFECTIONS ARE HOT TRUFAX…
Does anyone at that magazine actually have or have ever met a vagina?
Cosmo is full of pussy haters.
Whoosh my WHAT in WHAT??
brb becoming nun to stave off trauma
I just had the following text message exchange with Ian:
“Hey, so I was just reading this hot sex tip from Cosmo: ‘Get fruity! A mashed banana or peaches inserted in your vagina is a delightful invitation for him to whoosh his penis around in it! Once you climax, switch to 69 position for sweet afters.’ What do you think? Is this something you’d like to try?”
“Wouldn’t the sugar in the juices be infectiony?”
“Um, yes. Please tell me you did not think I was seriously suggesting that you woosh your penis around inside my banana filled vagina.”
“No, I was just worried that you’d started reading Cosmo.”
Prince is staring in disbelief and disgust.
Mmmm. Smushy vag fruits. Uh, hell no?
Oh my god I cannot breathe
Fucking Cosmo, man…god damn.
What the fuck did I just read?!!??!!? I have enough discomfort with Tampons, who the fuck wants to STICK FRUIT UP THERE!!!!!
I have this “gross-out” competition with my friend. So far, I am winning with this quote.
This is still gross.
whoosh his penis. I am dying.
Yeah no the only phallic shaped thing going into my vag is a penis. Sorry.
CRYING AT THIS POST
Damn, someone beat me to it with the Tennant gif…
I AM FUCKING DYING. HOLY JESUS, THIS IS GOLD.
Keeping a straight face while reading this at work was a Herculean effort. Seriously. You don’t even KNOW. 8|
This is the funniest series of commentary in the world.
Also, Cosmo, why switch to 69? Is that the only kind of oral sex I’m allowed to have.
Yeah I need to reblog this again because the commentary is just too good to pass up. Also I don’t think “whoosh” and “penis” should really go together, or inside anyone’s orifice(s).
Reblogging again for the hilarious commentary. And how this quote fills my brain with immense amounts of fuck.
I don’t know cosmos writers do with penises but they definitely should not be “whooshing”. I’m not going to be able to eat a banana for at least a week after this.
My penis does not go “whoosh”, it goes “thwump”
This is clearly an ad for the makers of Monistat, disguised as a sex-advice article. That is the only logical explanation for this wtfuckery.
I prefer potato waffles. and ketchup. personally. But that’s just me. And my vagina. WHOOSH!
My vagina is not a fruit cup. What in the pluperfect fuck is this fucking fuckery?
This will never stop being disturbing and hilarious.
And “whoosh” just makes me think of penises like, flying through the air or something.
holy shit this is back on my dash again
and it’s still simultaneously funny and unsettling
so obviously I must reblog
also, Tumblr etiquette dictates that I must leave a suitable reaction image
Always reblog this (for commentary)
As for this passage…
I am CRYING with laughter at the commentary.
AND WITH THIS, MY LIFE IS COMPLETE.